Blue Eyes and Razor Blades
by abbz07
Summary: Ichigo has lost his chance at gaining his best friends affection. How far will he go to cope with the pain? WARNINGS: Yaoi, GimmIchi, Self-Injury, language and character death.
1. Broken and Busted

**A/N: Okay everyone this is my very first fanfiction so some criticism would be amazing :D. This is my all time favorite Bleach pairing GrimmxIchi. There has been a lot of unnecessary drama going on in my life lately so I figured I would writing to help deal with some of the emotions I have been feeling and this is what was born. I am sorry if there are any grammatical or spelling errors. Please let me know about them in the Reviews :D.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the smexy characters :(**

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Dull, brown eyes stare back me as I look at my sorry reflection in the bathroom mirror. I run my fingers through my shaggy, orange hair out of habit before I begin setting up the tools I will need. Once I pull out the gauze, peroxide, and razor blades I look into the mirror once more and take in my full, pathetic appearance; a thin, pale face with a pointed, slender nose dotted with freckles, along with eyelashes framing such lifeless brown eyes. My orange hair is spiky and sticking out in all directions, and I have a strong, lean build from the many fights I have had due to my outrageous hair. I then begin to take a look at my inner self; my determination to always finish what I start, my dreams of leaving this god forsaken town to make something of myself, my devotion to my friends and family, and the ever present depression residing deep within the recesses of my mind and soul.

Just thinking about the depression I cannot seem to shake disgusts me. I do not speak to anyone about this sense of overwhelming sadness though. I do not wish to trouble all of the wonderful people around me with my selfishness. This feeling is something I must deal with on my own.

As I pick up the razor blade in my right hand, I begin to remember when my depression started all those years ago. The unrequited affection I held for my best friend became too much to bear six months ago, when he had asked his girlfriend of two years to marry him after our high school graduation. She had said yes, of course, and the marriage was underway in a matter of weeks. Not surprisingly, I was asked to be the best man and watch as the man I love dedicated the rest of his life to someone else.

_~Flashback~_

_As I stand next to the happy couple in front of a church full f people I try to look at least comfortable in the current situation. All of my concentration leaves me when I see the groom turn and look towards me after the 'I do's' are spoken._

_A devilish smile engulfs his face when his electric blue eyes glance at me from the altar and gives me a small thumbs up showing me how truly happy he is before he kisses his new wife. I feel my heart shatter into pieces, never to return to their original form._

_~End Flashback~_

I slide the new blade across my left wrist shallowly and a thin line of blood forms from the thin cut. I tremble at the small amount of pain shooting up my arm and I can't help but smile a bit. This pain is nothing to me when as I remember the jealousy that surged through me that day; the day I lost him forever. No physical pain I inflict upon myself can ever match the ache my heart felt on once the ceremony was completed. No, this pain on my arm is just a temporary fix, something to help me forget the pain in heart for a little bit. I continue my little session with my blade as I remember that day's events playing over and over again like a bad song on the radio.

_~Flashback~_

_After the ceremony I watch as he picks up his beloved and carries her to the limo that awaits them outside the church. Once the door is shut with the newlyweds inside the limo takes off the club across town where the reception is being held._

_As I get into my car to leave the church and head over to the reception, I feel an urge. It lingers in the back of my mind during the ride, and when I pull into the parking lot of the club I notice the new couple is greeting the guests as they enter. When the groom notices me approaching the entrances, his shit eating grin encases his face once more._

_I feel my heart skip a beat and my face flush slightly in anticipation for his embrace, but I know to him the hug is nothing more than brotherly. I hug the large, and also muscular, man when he reaches me and hold on longer than I probably should have, but I just cannot keep control of myself when I am with him. When he pulls out of the hug I stare into piercing cerulean eyes, spacing out for just a moment._

"_Hey! Earth to Ichi! Fuck man. Are you okay?"_

_~End Flashback~_

I make another cut below my first as I think about the embrace and the deep, sexy voice he used to try and bring me back to my senses. This new cut is deeper than the first, and the blood flows more steadily down my wrist and into the sink. Thinking back to that day I realize now the urge I felt in the car on the way to the reception was the very beginnings of what is now my once a week ritual.

_~Flashback~_

_I snap out of my dazed state when I realize he was speaking. I punch him lightly in the arm and I conjured up the most genuine fake smile I could, "Of course I am, Grimm. I'm just still in shock you found someone other than me who can put up with you arrogant ass." I mentally sigh in relief when my voice doesn't break like I know it should have._

"_Shut the fuck up you bastard. So are you staying all night? I don't want to have to deal with all the pricks alone," he sneers. He has never been good at social gatherings._

_I am about to refusing telling him he should grow up and learn to deal with people on his own, but the look in his eyes is almost desperate. I sigh out loud this time and visible roll my eyes, "Fine, fine. I guess I can stay and bail you out this time," what else can I say? I just cannot say no to the man._

_His canines are visible as his grin grows ear to ear. "Thanks Ichi. You're the best, best man."_

_~End Flashback~_

With the memories now running freely through my mind, the blade I hold works of its own accord. I make cuts of various sizes and depths wherever it my fall on the inside of my forearm, as that last line echoes relentlessly through my head. Those words made me realize that all I am to him is his best friend, his brother. He would never see me as his lover.

After I begin to calm down and the blade slows, I stare at my arm and the blood flows rapidly down my arm and into the white sink, staining the porcelain. I turn on the faucet and let the cool water wash over my fresh cuts and the sink, clearing the scarlet fluid from my arm and the sink. Once the blood has made its way down the drain, I take the peroxide and pour the liquid down the entirety of my forearm, covering all of my wounds. I hiss at the sensation of the cleaning fluid filling each laceration, the sensation being similar to that of cutting. It is but one more distraction from the thoughts waiting to bombard my mind when the opportunity rises.

Next, I grab the gauze and wrap it down my forearm making sure that none of the fresh marks are showing. Once my left arm is bandaged, I rinse out the last reminisce of blood from the sink and sit down on the lid covered toilet, not bothering to clean up my mess quite yet. I rest my head in my hands ad close my eyes, trying to calm my thoughts. They are still focused on that terrible day six months ago.

_~Flashback~_

_I head inside the club after promising Grimmjow I would stay until the end. Naturally, the first place I go is the bar. I down a couple shots of tequila in the hopes the alcohol will help drown out the dangerous thoughts forming in the recesses of my mind. _

_Once I feel the alcohol coursing through my system I decide it would be a good idea to try out the dance floor. As I move closer to floor I feel more relaxed as I let the deep bass flow through my body. I begin to move in time with music and sway in time with other people around me. I close my eyes as my body follows the beat, entirely lost in the moment._

_When I open my eyes again to see where I have ended up, I catch a glimpse of blue hair and I turn to see what Grimm could possibly be up to. When I spot him, he is, of course, with his beloved new wife. At this angle, with her back towards me, I can see the compassion he has for her and loving look he is giving her breaks my heart even further. Knowing that he will never look at me with those deep cerulean eyes full of love is something I will never grow accustomed to._

_~End Flashback~_

I stand up from my position on the toilet and return to the sink. I stare at the hollow of a person I have become once more before I take the razor into my left hand this time. **_Who would have thought that being ambidextrous would come in handy? _**I think as I begin the process again but I make the cuts on my right arm. I grit my teeth as the burning sensation runs up my other arm now. I love the feeling of my emotions becoming physical pain. The more I think of that awful day, the deeper the wounds become. I can feel the blood as more of it runs down my forearm as I lose myself in the moment for the second time that day. I am so lost in my own pleasure I failed to notice someone was in my house.

"Yo, Ichi! You here?"

By the time I understand that someone was in my room and about to enter my bathroom it was too late. The bathroom door is thrown open, and I snap my head up from looking at the masterpiece on my arm. I stare in horror at the man now looking at me with fury in his eyes.

"What the fuck is all this Kurosaki?" He says it low, almost like a growl, and causes a shiver to run down my spine. There is only one thought that is going through my head as I turn around to face him.

_**Busted.**__  
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**Reviews would be amazing because I'm still not completely sure if I want to finish this or not so just let me know what you guys think :]**


	2. Avoiding Answers

**A/N: **A big "thank you!" to everyone that reviewed my last chapter and also to those that took the time to read and add this story to their favorites and/or story alerts :D. I was really inspired to finish this as soon as possible :]. This is a bit shorter but hopefully it still lives up to everyones expectations. I am still having some difficulty with the plot in later chapters so it might be a little while until chapter 3 is up but I will get it out as soon as I can. Again. Thank you for reading XD

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I do not own Bleach or any characters associated with the show *pouts*

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As I turn, I try to hide the mess in the sink, despite knowing it is a useless effort. He's caught me red handed…quite literally. He has always been good at catching people, which is why he decided that he was going to be a detective after high school. When I finally face him I keep my head bowed in shame knowing that he must be disgusted to know such a weak person. I am caught off guard though, when his hands find my shoulders and he shakes me slightly, but not hard, forcing me to look at him. To my surprise the emotions in his stunning blue eyes range anywhere from concern to fury.

"Damn it Kurosaki! Answer me!" He yells. His voice is dripping with the confusion of emotions from eyes.

I cringe slightly but unnoticeably at the forcefulness of his voice combined with the tightening grip on my shoulders. There were sure to be bruises. I carefully avoid his eyes that I can feel bearing into the top of my head as I keep it lowered, unable to look him in the eyes. I knew I was in some major shit because he used my last name…twice. He only calls me by my last name when he is pissed beyond reason. After a minute of him holding me in a death grip by my shoulders I finally speak up.

"I…I got in a fight with some neighborhood punks so I was just cleaning my wounds from that…" I lie feebly, still not looking directly at him. I know it's no use but I have to try. I mean, it's not like completely unbelievable. I don't really live in the nicest of places. I have to pay for college after all.

His glare becomes even more intense. "The fuck it is. Stop lying and me the fucking truth."

He tries to get me to look at him by shaking me again, but it is no use and he releases my shoulders. I force my head to stay down and focus on controlling the nearly irresistible urge to grab the blade that is sitting on the bathroom counter and continue with what I was doing before I was abruptly interrupted. My hands start to fidget with their lack of movement and I glance behind me at the razor blade out of habit. He notices and takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to look him dead in the eyes.

"Don't even think about it Ichigo. I'm not letting you near that fucking thing."

I nearly whine in frustration, but I hold myself back so as not to come across as too addicted. I don't have the time or money to be in a rehab center or any kind of therapy. Although, I wouldn't put it passed Grimmjow to force me to go, even if it meant he had to drag me on a leash.

"I wasn't going to grab it," I respond lamely. He lets go of my chin and crosses his arms.

As I stand there in front of him lost in thought, I can feel that he is losing his patients with me, but I just can't bring myself to tell him that he is the reason for the state I'm in now. I don't think I could take the rejection. I try another lie.

"There…there is just a lot of stress between work and school right now Grimm. It's nothing to worry about, really." I lamely reassure at the end of the pathetic excuse for a lie.

When I finally look up to meet those beautiful sapphire eyes, the fake smile I was fully prepared to give vanishes, as soon as I see the utterly disbelieving look on his face. _This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Even then I knew this wasn't going to be easy._

"Look Ichigo. I know yer lying. I've known you for ten years; you can't lie to me. So I ain't leavin' ya alone until you tell me what has you so fucked up that you would resort to doing something like this to yourself."

I sigh and silently berate myself for thinking that any of my pathetic lies would work on the one person that knows me better than I even know myself. I knew that he would never leave something like this alone, but I just had to try. I didn't want to answer a lot of the questions I knew I was going to have to answer soon.

"Ichi," He whispers after he receives no answer, still. This instantly grabs my attention. He never whispers unless he is truly desperate. "Ichi, please just tell me what would make you want to do something like this?"

I take a deep breath and open my mouth to reply, but before I can I feel this strange sensation of something running down my arm. When I look down to see what could possibly be on my arm my breath hitches slightly. All of the cuts from my current session are still bleeding. I realize too late that I never put on the gauze after I poured the peroxide on all of the wounds. Grimm and I had been too caught up in our little moment to notice that the blood had begun to flow quite generously from the elbow down. I feel dizzy and lightheaded as I feel my knees give out. My vision blurs and starts to darken at the edges as I feel myself falling towards the floor I never reach.

"Hang in there Ichi. Everything is going to be ok." It's faint but I hear it.

Then, darkness.

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**More reviews would be amazing :]. I really love to hear what you guys think :].**


	3. Admitting the Cause

**A/N:** I'm sorry that this wasn't out as quick as the last but this aggravating thing called a school keeps taking up my time. Anyways, I can't thank everyone enough for all of the reviews, favorites, and watches. This really means a lot to me since I'm new to all of this. Please keep up the awesome reviews and what have yous :D. But now moving on with the story. Tally-ho! :D

**Disclaimer: **if I owned Bleach it would be a lot different...

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In the darkness I hear voices. They are faint whispers that I almost miss, but they catch my interest so I close my eyes and concentrate on them in hopes of understanding what they are saying.

"…massive…multiple…lucky…"

That is all I hear before there is a loud, steady beeping filling the silent darkness within my head. In my mind I snap open my eyes from surprise at the sudden, obnoxious noise, but in reality it takes much longer. My vision is blurry at first but as my eyes slowly adjust to the scene that is before them it becomes clearer. There are fluorescent lights on the white ceiling above me, the walls are white and dull, there is a certain hanging to the right so as to cover the other half of the room, but when I look down and see the bed with the railing and the too think gown I'm dressed in, I sit up abruptly causing the two men at the end of the bed to look at me as I grab my head in hopes of stopping the dizziness that momentarily blinds me from the blood rushing from my skull.

I turn to my right and look up as Grimmjow comes up beside the bed and rests his hand on my shoulder, looking down at me with relieve evident in his eyes.

"It's about time you woke up Ichi. You've been out for hours. You scared the living shit out of me," He grumbles the last part to himself thinking that I can't hear him. He looks back at the doctor.

"What were you saying doc?"

I look over at the thin pink haired man, with the wild gleam in his golden eyes that are partially hidden behind a glare off of the rectangular glasses he wore. _This creepy freak is really a doctor? He looks like he would rather be examining everything inside of me for his own sick amusement. _I shudder at the thought of the man operating on me.

The pink haired man looked at Grimmjow and they continued on with their conversation.

"Yes. As I was saying he has obviously suffered from massive blood loss from the multiple wounds he has suffered on his right arm. You are lucky you got him here when you did or else much more damage could have been done."

"Ya, ya. You've said that already. How long is he going to be here?"

"We will have to keep him over night to make sure everything has stabilized after the transfusion we performed today, but once everything looks good he should be able to leave by tomorrow. I will be back in a couple hours to check your vitals." With that he swiftly turned and walked out the door.

During Grimm's and the doctor's discussion my eyes had dropped to my lap and my hands were fidgeting with the bedding.

_How could I have been so stupid as to get caught by him? Now I have no choice. I'm going to have to answer all the questions I hoped would never come up._

I look back up when I hear Grimmjow clear his throat. I get caught in those magnificent eyes once again, as they seem to stare into my broken soul. I look away; the intensity of the stare becoming too much.

"Are you ready to talk yet?" I hear him practically growl.

"Grimm…I…Just give me a minute…please?" I look back at him with pleading eyes and this time he is the one to look away.

"Fine, fine. Just…please explain why you have been staring at me with that tortured look in your eyes since I found you in your bathroom…"

I nod and my eyes travel back to my lap as I contemplate how to answer him without actually telling him he is the reason behind my actions. I want to tell him so much that I love him as more than just a friend, but I know that the rejection will too much for me to handle. I couldn't handle watching him walk out of the room after bluntly stating that there is no way we can be together. My hands start to shake and my breathing becomes short gasps as all of the possible ways of rejection fill my mind. I barely hear the heart-rate monitor as the beeping speeds up to keep up with my racing heart or the quick footsteps that rush across the room.

I feel the shifting of the bed as weight is added to it and turn just in time to be caught in long muscular arms. My shaking hands and breathing becomes steadier, but my heart is still racing as I realize that Grimmjow is holding me.

"Calm down Ichi. You don't have to tell me right away…I'm just worried about you…I've never seen you like this…"

I can feel his warm breath on my ear as he speaks and it's nearly enough to drive me crazy. I snap out of my daze after I register his words and will myself to take deep calming breaths. Only after I calm down enough so that my hands are only shaking slightly, am I able to speak.

"I'm sorry that I caused you to worry so much…I never meant for it to get this far…" My voice sounds pathetic and weak, even to my own ears.

He pulls back to look me at me, "I know you didn't. Nobody does, but you need to talk to me Ichi. What is going on with you?" I can hear the concern dripping from his voice and it makes me regret even more that I have put him through this. He removes his arms from around my neck and stands up to move to the uncomfortable fake leather chair. I miss the warmth, but I know I will need the space if I want to think clearly.

"Where do I even start…?" I whisper, mostly to myself.

"The beginning would be a great place." I hear him grumble and I half glare from across the room.

"Shut up asshole. I'm thinking here," I say, earning a slight glare from the other man.

We laps back into silence, both of lost in our own thoughts, staring into nothing. I continue to war with myself but I keep calm so as not to cause another episode. I can feel when his eyes turn to look at me but I ignore the feeling for a moment before I take a deep breath and ready myself for the risk I am about to take. I turn and look him dead in the eyes, suddenly feeling more confident than I had in a long time.

"I started this because…I love you Grimmjow…and now…I can never have you…"

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**Now it's review time!...pwease :]**


	4. Caught

**A/N: **GOMEN! I know that this is really late and I really was planning on posting this last weekend but then...some family issues came up and I was unable to be at my house for the entire weekend in order to avoid some conflicts between some family members... I really hope this makes up for it though. I hated to keep you guys waiting though. Anyways please tell me about any grammar/spelling errors. It bugs me when they are there but I do not have the ability to locate them lol.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach...anyone who is a Bleach fan knows the real owner...

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My thoughts rage in my head as we sit in silence. _Why isn't he saying anything? _The endless responses I was expecting never included this. _I'm not prepared for this._

"Grimm, please say something!" Even I can hear the hysterical note in my voice as I begin to panic again. I try to calm myself by taking deep breathes so as not to go into another episode. Thankfully it works.

He stands and walks back over to the bed to sit back down beside me. I look at his face and notice that his eyes are distant, like he was lost in his own separate world.

When he finally speaks, it is barely above a whisper, "…How long…?"

I blink, confused by his question. "What…do you mean?"

He turns to look at me head on, his eyes ablaze with a mixture of emotions I have never seen before. He growls his question this time, daring me not to answer, "How fucking long have you felt this way?"

I shrink away from the sudden burst of emotion that fills his voice, completely caught off guard. I hesitate before I answer in a whisper, "I…I first noticed my feelings for you during our…junior year of high school…"

I close my eyes so that I don't see his reaction to the information. I begin to mentally prepare myself for the rejection and pain. _He's going to leave…I just know that he's going to leave me… _I repeat like a mantra inside my head in hopes that the pain of him actually leaving will be dulled, if even slightly. I hear him stand and begin pacing and I can hear my heart start to accelerate due to the monitor I am still attached to. _I'm going to have to see about getting that out of here… _I think as the beeping increases when I notice that the footsteps have stopped. When I feel a warm hand on my shoulder I look up only to find him staring back at me with confusion evident in all of his features.

I sigh, defeated, and look down at the thin sheets, away from those hypnotizing eyes before I say, "Look Grimm…I understand that this is an awkward situation for you…I know that you're happily married and I don't want to ruin that, so I'm fine with either continuing on like we have been for the past ten years or…you can leave…I'll be fine with either situation. You just do what you think would be best…" I stop unable to continue due to the tightening of my throat and the tears I can feel burning in my eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. My fingers begin to twitch, searching for what was my only source of relief from the pain before Grimmjow found me.

I keep my eyes focused on the covers so that I don't have to look at the abandonment that I know will be in those cool blue eyes. Although, when I hear no footsteps walking away from me I look up to see Grimmjow's hurt etched onto his face. He slowly sits down next to me, never once breaking eye contact.

"Ichi…you really expect me to be able to do either of those…? You really expect me to be able to hurt you like that…?"

The sadness in his voice makes me ashamed that I would ever think that he could do either of those to me. _Damn it! Does my stupidity never end? I don't deserve to have him as a friend…_

I'm so lost in my hateful thoughts that I don't notice the strong arms wrapping around my torso until there was a warm breath at my ear.

"Stop thinking that you stupid…you're not, Ichi. You just weren't sure of the reaction I would have and came up with the worst case scenario. That is just what humans do when it comes to the uncertain things in life. It has nothing to do with the kind of person you are," He says in a soft, yet demanding voice.

I lean back into him, the sound of his voice relaxing me and the familiar warmth encasing ever inch of my skin. I sigh contentedly, but force myself to not get too lost in the feeling, knowing that it is just a brotherly embrace, before I speak.

"I don't know why I continue to try and hide things from you…this is the only situation I have been able to keep from you for longer than a week…" I laugh slightly, but without humor. When he doesn't say anything and I feel his muscles tensing against my back, I turn my head to look at him confused.

"Grimm…is something wrong…?" I asked concerned.

"Just how long…have you been doing this to yourself then…?" He demands a dark look starting to creep into his eyes.

I flinch away. _That's right…I haven't told him the whole story yet…this ought to be interesting…_

"I…well…how long have you been married…?" I whisper, scared of what else could possibly happen.

It takes him a minute to comprehend, but when he does he spins me around to stare me straight in the eye with a deadly glare.

"This has been going on for six fucking months? Why the hell didn't you say anything Ichi?" He rages, gripping my shoulders and shaking me slightly.

I can't bear to look at him as I give him my weak response, "It's not like I could have told you Grimm…you're just so happy with her…I couldn't risk telling you, and I didn't want you to worry about me…the only reason I told you today was because I got cornered…"

He rubs his hand over his face and I notice for the first time since I woke up that he looks exhausted.

"Damn it Ichi, why do you have to be so fucking clueless all the time…?" He says in an exasperated and irritated voice.

I look back at him, confused by his words. "What…are you talking about…?"

The only response I get is a quiet growl.

It's the only warning I get before his mouth is on mine in a passionate kiss. It takes a moment for me to respond due to the shock, but once that is gone my arms instantly wrap around his neck and his arms return to their rightful place around my torso. He breaks away after a few more seconds, not giving me time to deepen the kiss further.

We stare at each other neither of us willing to move from our positions or discus the repercussions of the action that just took place. Unfortunately though, we were so caught up in our own little world that we didn't hear the door open or close as one of those consequences entered the room.

We both jump when a cold voice comes from the corner of the room.

"Hello darling. I was just stopping by to see if you needed anything after hearing your voicemail about Ichigo being here. But, I guess you already have everything you need…"

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**Please Read and Review darlings. It honestly makes my day to read what you all have to say :D (haha I rhymed XD...yes I am that easily amused :3)**


	5. Decisions

**A/N: **Hey everyone. I know that it's been a while since I last updated and I could tell you that I've been really busy but the truth is I have just felt really uninspired lately, but I am about to make up for not posting in 2 weeks. Not only is this chapter going to be posted but I am going to try my damned hardest to post chapter 6 by Monday. I have a long weekend from school so I will be out Monday :3 (I loves me some long weekends xD). Anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter and can be patient for a couple of days while I work on chapter 6. Oh and if you see any mistakes please tell me in a review because I do not have a beta (and if anyone is interested in being my beta please please please pm me because it would be awesome to have someone correct all my terrible mistakes lol)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own...I make no money from this...blah blah blah you know the drill

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_We both jump when a cold voice comes from the corner of the room._

"_Hello darling. I was just stopping by to see if you needed anything after hearing your voicemail about Ichigo being here. But, I guess you already have everything you need…"_

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"Harribel…? How long have you been here?" He asks irritably, but with the tiniest amount of guilt.

_Of course he's feels guilty about it…even if it was just a pity kiss, he's married…and now he regrets it…everything is going to change now…_

"Long enough to see what really happens between you two when I'm not around," she says with malice very evident in her voice, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. You and _him_ have always been a little _too_ close in my opinion," the disgust is loud and clear and I keep my eyes averted.

"What is that supposed to mean? You know damned well that Ichi has been like a brother to me for years!" I look up at Grimm when I feel the bed shift with the sudden loss of weight.

"Don't feed me that shit Grimmjow! Do you think I'm blind? I've seen the way you look at him when he's over. Not to mention you're constantly talking about the crazy shit you two have done over the years." She screams accusingly right back at him.

As they speak I look back and forth between them. Grimm's face is furious because of the accusations thrown at him, while Harribel is beginning to lose her control due to what looks like tears glinting in the horrible fluorescent hospital lights.

They are quiet for a few moments so I decide to speak up. I clear my throat and two pairs of emotionally confused eyes look at me. I take a steadying breath before I speak,

"Look…I know that I've caused a lot of trouble for you both so to help your marriage…I'll cut all ties with Grimmjow…" My voice is a lot steadier than I thought it would be and for that, I am glad.

Their reactions are polar opposites. I watch as Harribel's eyes lighten with happiness, while Grimm's are a combination of hurt, fury, and sadness. I look at Grimm and force back the pain that tries to encase itself around my heart before continuing,

"I think this is for the best Grimm…this way you don't have to be in any more awkward situations…" I try to sound normal but my voices gives just a little at the end but I don't think he notices.

Harribel's voice is a bit too happy when she says "Alright Grimm, you heard him, he's cutting you off. Let's go."

He stares at me intently and I don't falter in my resolve. _I can't be the reason he's unhappy. I have to let him go. _He hangs his head, hiding his eyes from me, "Gimme a minute Hal. Go wait in the car and I'll be out there soon. Just let me say goodbye." His voice is quiet but the demanding tone is still there.

She walks over to the door, but before she leaves she turns back and looks at him, "If you're not out there in ten minutes I'm leaving without you."

"Che, no you're not," he mocks.

She glares at him and storms out of the room, fuming. I watch him as he sits down next to me, not once looking at me.

"Grimm…this really is for the best thing for you. Your relationship with me is just getting in the way. You deserve a happy marriage…" I trail off not sure if I can continue without the pain of this decision showing in my voice. After a few moments of silence I am able to continue, "You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine."

That statement drags him out of his stupor and he focuses furious eyes on me, "Who said that my marriage was happy? And like hell you'll be fine! Look at you now! You're in the fucking hospital because of what I put you through! I can't just leave you now that I know everything…Ichi..." he rests his hand on my cheek, "you mean too much to me to let you go…"

The look in his eyes softens as he finishes speaking and I look away not sure that I can keep my resolve while looking into the depths of the eyes that gained my affection long ago. The hand on my cheek moves to my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Ichi, I don't want you to be alone. I've never wanted that, and now that I know what you've been up to and how you really feel about me, I especially don't want you to be by yourself." His electric blue eyes are filled with nothing but concern as he speaks these words, but there is something more in his eyes that I cannot decipher…

"Grimm…I promise that I will be fine. You don't have to worry about me. I want you to be happy, and if that means I have to be out of your life, then so be it. You deserve nothing but happiness." My resolve strengthens my courage so that my voice does not portray any hint of pain.

His hand moves to his lap and I miss the warmth on my face, "Ichi, do you honestly think I will let you go through with this insane plan of yours? I won't let you leave. And if getting rid of Hal the way to do that then that's what is going to happen. You deserve to be happy too, and you not being in my life will only make both of us miserable," his voice is confident and decisive. I know that his mind is made up, and that no matter how hard I try I will never be able to change it…but that doesn't mean I won't try.

"You can't just 'get rid of' your wife Grimm…it's not that easy...are you sure this is what you want to do?" I can't help but be a little happy that he is saying these things, but then I start thinking of what would happen if Grimm just left Hal. Harribel was always a bit of a jealous bitch but I had never seen her that infuriated about something before and it slightly frightened me.

"Yes. I'm completely sure. I won't stop seeing you and Hal can't do anything about that. I won't let her come between us." He whispers in finality. He stands to leave, but before he does he leans back over me, "Nothing will ever come between us again. I love you too much."

And with that he gives me a soft chaste kiss on the lips before leaving me to think over everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

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**Now my lovelies reviews would be absolutely the most amazing part of my day XD**

**Okay I have made some edits so as to hopefully make it a lot less confusing. Please let me know if this makes more sense.**


	6. Restless Nights

**A/N: **Woo hoo! 2 chapters out in one weekend! I feel accomplished XD. A big thank you for all of you that reviewed the last chapter and are still reading. It really helps me with my writing :3. Also another big thank you to Okami23Kitsune for being my beta :D. There is not really much else to say except that I hope you all enjoy the chapter and continue watching for updates :].

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I do not own Bleach :(

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The day's events have my head spinning. So much has happened that it's almost too much to take in. Between getting caught by Grimm, ending up in the hospital, and having Grimm confess, my mind is starting to stress. I lie back on the uncomfortable hospital bed and close my eyes in hopes of settling my thoughts.

_Why is all of this happening at once? There is so much that is about to change…but will it be a good change? Why did Grimmjow confess to me when he's already married? Did he only say that to keep me from cutting again?_

I have so many questions running through my head that I start to get a headache.

_Did he really mean it when he said that he loved me? What if he changes his mind before he tells Hal that it's over? Why would he divorce his wife for me? None of this is making sense…_

I groan from all of the confusing thoughts, so I don't hear the door open. I jump and look around, startled, when I hear a freakish laugh in the room.

"It's ok Ichigo. I just came back to check your vitals. I waited until Grimmjow left so that you two could talk in peace. Although next time he comes to visit a hospital please remind him to keep his voice down. There are other patients here that rather like the peace and quiet and I would hate to have security throw someone out."

"Oh…sorry about that, he can't really control his temper most of the time. I'll be sure to tell him that he was lucky not to get kicked out this time." I smile faintly.

"Good." He smiles creepily before walking over to the many beeping machines to see how everything inside of me is doing. He makes a few notes on his clipboard before standing straight and continuing, "Now, about how you lost enough blood to end up in the hospital…what exactly put all of those cuts on your arms?" His expression goes from friendly to calculating in half a second. I know that I will have to be careful in explaining things or else I'm not getting out of here without seeing some sort of therapist.

I look him dead in the eye to come across as more convincing. "I was helping my friend with her cats and they all freaked out. It's no big deal."

The look on his face is disbelieving, but he doesn't argue. "Look, I have no proof that you were trying to kill yourself. When I asked Grimmjow he wouldn't tell me. He said that everything was fine. I told him that I could file a report based on my suspicions, but…" he trails off for a moment, his face turning into one of annoyance, "the blue haired demon said that he would report me to my boss saying that he saw me performing some unnecessary techniques on a patient that's in a coma…"

My eyebrow twitches slightly. _I honestly don't find that hard to believe…Why would a hospital hire a freak like him…?_

"Well…I'm sorry he threatened you like that…I doubt you would do anything like that…?"

I don't miss the evil glint in his eyes before he says, "Oh of course not. What kind of doctor would I be?" The little smirk he wears at the end of his statement has me doubting his words. "Well everything seems to be stable so you will be able to leave after one last check in the morning. Goodnight, Kurosaki."

_Alright…I'm definitely going to learn to sleep with one eye open tonight._

I lie back down, and turn onto my side trying to make myself comfortable enough to get some sleep. I pull the blanket up, close my eyes and begin taking deep calming breathes to help relax myself. I can feel my thoughts calming and my breath evening out as the time passes and before I know it I'm fast asleep.

* * *

**_Freshmen Year:_**

_I'm sitting in my usual seat in the back of my English class bored out of my mind. The teacher is going on and on about some book that I didn't read because I had better things to do like, playing video games, and getting ready to take my driver's test so that I can finally get my license. _

_This class never really appealed to me, and the teacher just makes it worse. His voice could put me to sleep but the only thing keeping me awake is the guy sitting next to me. Grimmjow is leaning back in his chair and trying to balance his pencil on his nose. I smirk and decide to flick the pencil to the floor just to piss him off…it works._

"What the fuck Ichi?"_ He asks in a slightly irritated whisper, _"I almost had it perfect that time."

_I snicker, _"I'm just messin' with ya Grimm. Chill out. It's not like there is anything better to do in this class,"_ I smile at his aggravated expression. The truth is I started having weird feelings towards him, but I just ignored it and moved on. It's probably nothing anyway._

* * *

I wake up a bit but only enough to shift positions before I'm out again.

* * *

**_Sophomore Year:_**

_As we are sitting in math class I try to focus on the teacher. If I don't pass this next test I fail the class. I'm usually not bad at math but having all of my friends in this class has distracted me way too much._

_But it seems that a couple people are making it impossible for me to focus on anything other than them at the moment. Renji keeps teasing me while Grimm is helping him come up with things to tease me about. Of course my sexuality comes into play with that, but I know it's all good natured fun. _

_After I realized that I was gay I began to worry how my friends and family would take the news. After a few months of building up some courage, I was finally able to tell everyone. To my relief they were all very supportive and accepted me. I was especially relived when Grimmjow didn't turn his back on me. If I had lost him, I don't know what I would have done. He's like my brother…_

* * *

I shiver and sit up, still mostly asleep, to retrieve the blanket that I kicked to the foot of the bed during my nighttime struggles to remain asleep. Once my head hits the pillow, though, my mind is back in dreamland.

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**_Junior Year:_**

_My heart rate increases as I near the door to my Biology class. _Damn it! Why do I always get so fucking nervous around him now? Ever since I came out last year things have been so weird…

_I step through the entrance to the classroom and sit down next to the person that has filled my thoughts since I came out last year. _Maybe…maybe what I feel for him is more than just brotherly love…?

_My face is one of concentration when __a rather hard punch to the arm stirs me__ from my thoughts, "_Earth to Ichigo…you still alive inside that head of yours?"

"Huh? What?" _I ask as I come back to reality from the inner chambers of my own little world._

"Get out your book before the teacher starts yelling at you again. You know Soi Fon isn't afraid to send your ass to the office…again," _he smirks at the last part of his sentence. I know that he is remembering the fight I got in to with our bitch of teacher the last time she decided to send me to the office._

"Shut up, asshole," _I grumble as I reach for my large Biology book that is still stuffed inside my backpack. _

_Once the book is out on my desk and is open to the appropriate page I go back to more important thoughts; my feelings for Grimmjow._

_Sure every time I see him my stomach does that weird flippy thing, like when you get excited and when our skin makes contact it feels like an electric wave was sent through my entire body, but that doesn't mean that I'm in love with my best friend…does it…?_

_I send Grimm a sideways glace and he has his head propped up on his hand, with his elbow on the desk, about to fall asleep. I can't help but think that he looks cute with his teal hair in an orderly mess and his magnifying blue eyes blurred with lack of sleep. As my brain wonders off it brings up other instances in which I thought of Grimm as 'cute'._

_After a few minutes I feel a slight uncomfortable feeling down below and sure enough, when I look down, I find a slight bulge looking back at me. _I can't believe thinking about Grimm being cute got me hard…_Or maybe it's not that hard for me to believe but either way that doesn't help the fact that a) I have a little problem beneath the belt that needs to disappear quick, and b) I just discovered that I quite possibly may have feelings for my best friend, if said problem was any indication…_

* * *

"I swear if I wake up one more time I'm going to kill someone…" I grumble as I shift to my other side…for the fifteenth time tonight. I lay still for a few minutes and thankfully that's all it takes before my subconscious takes over once again.

* * *

**_Senior Year:_**

_I'm in my seat in World History, leaning against the wall and watching the sickening sight on the other side of the room. I can still feel my heart throbbing in pain even though it's been a little over a year since the two started dating. I still can't believe that Grimmjow and Harribel got together. Everyone was shocked that the two shortest tempered and arrogant people at school were able to have a functional relationship; but, here they are, still looking at each other like they just started dating three days ago, happy as can be...it makes me sick with jealousy._

_My feelings for Grimm have not subsided in the least since I discovered that I loved him as more than just a friend or brother. In fact…they have grown quite a bit stronger. With only two months until graduation my hopes of this only being a high school relationship are starting to falter, but I still see a tiny ray of hope and I cling to it. _Maybe he will dump her on graduation night…

_I know that it is terrible for me to want his relationship to end, but I just can't help that selfish side of me. I want Grimmjow all to myself, and I hate the fact that someone is able to take his attention away from me._

* * *

**_Two months later:_**

_Even though Grimm and Hal are still together, I have feeling that something big is going to happen after the ceremony. I can only hope and pray that he is going to break up with her now that everyone will be separating and heading off to college._

_After the tradition of throwing the graduation caps into the air is completed, signifying the end of graduation, I start my search for Grimmjow. I finally spot him in the mass of people with his trademark grin in place, but instead of him walking away from Hal, I watch as he gets down on one knee and pulls out a little black box._

_This can only mean one thing…the end of my dream._

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**Alrighty now time to review...pwetty pwease XD (and thanks to TheSilentDream I was able to figure out how to enable anonymous reviews so now anyone can review :D. but please keep it nice because if any flamers show up I will possibly disable that little feature :/)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I know that I'm not really supposed to do this but I just feel so bad about not updating that I thought I would let you guys know what going on right now…

I'm feeling really stressed out lately mentally and emotionally and school and family issues aren't really helping that…and I have just had the worst time with writer's block…probably from the stress…I don't know :/.

I'm not sure when I will post Chapter 7 but I promise you that it will be ASAP. Again…I'm sorry for the wait. Thank you for understanding and being patient with me.


	8. Life Changing

**A/N: **Hey everyone! I'm not dead! (surprisingly XD) Here is finally the real chapter 7 that so many have been waiting on. I do apologize greatly for such a long delay and everything that I could say would only be excuses so to spare you the time I will just keep apologizing for the terribly long wait in the hopes that you will forgive me -sweatdrop-. So enough of my rambling and onward with the story at last XD

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters...only the plot

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I wake with a start when there is a loud knock on my door. _That was a terrible night. _I thought to myself as I recall all of the dreams I had. I run my hand through my hair before yelling out, "Who is it?"

The door opens revealing the psychotic pink haired man that is my doctor. He gives me that mysterious smirk before saying, "Good morning Ichigo. I'm just going to take one last look at everything then you are free to go." He says the last part with a bit of disappointment before walking over to the machines to check them.

After several minutes of him scrawling on his clipboard he looks up at me again, "Well, it looks like everything here is in order. I'll tell the nurses that you are ready to leave and they will come in and take the IV out so you can change back into some normal clothes. Before you woke up from your little episode yesterday your loud mouth friend went and got you some clothes. You will find them in the restroom. Now if you will excuse me, I have some speci...patients to attend to."

And with that he left with the weirdest glint in his amber eyes yet. I silently thanked whatever being that may exist above for getting me out of this hospital and away from him so quickly. The nurses came in soon after he left and took out the IV from arm and detached the other devices that were attached to me.

After they left, I walked quickly to the bathroom and rushed to get the black skinny jeans, tight, blue V-neck t-shirt, and white converse on. My heart skipped a beat when I replayed everything from the fighting to the "I love you". _I wonder what he is going to do about Hal…_

I couldn't help but worry about how he was going to handle the situation due to the fact that he wasn't the most sensitive person. I just hoped that he decided to handle things a bit more gently than he normally would since she is his wife.

With my clothes finally on I grab my phone and wallet off of the night stand next to the bed and head to the check out desk. After everything is cleared I look at phone and see that I have a text message from Grimm, '_Hey Ichi…I'm sorry but you're gonna have to call someone to give you a ride home. I still have to get some things sorted out with the divorce so I will meet you at your house later today.'_

I smile a bit because this is just more proof that he is almost mine, '_Okay. I'll call Shin. He doesn't have class today and he should be awake sense it is passed noon.'_

I press the send button and then go to my contacts looking for Shin's number when I get a reply from Grimm that I wasn't expecting. '_Fine but tell that creep to keep his hands off of you if he knows what good for him.'_

I chuckle a bit and send a quick '_Sure sure haha' _before I go back to my search for Shinji's number. I click send when I find it and after three rings there is an all too cheerful voice on the other end of the line. "Hello there, my darling Ichigo! What can I do for you on this lovely afternoon?"

"Hey Shin. I was just wondering if you could pick me up from the hospital. I fell yesterday while hanging out with Grimm and got a concussion. Grimm drove me over here but he had to leave because of something with Hal so now I'm stuck without a ride…"

I figured that that was a pretty believable story considering I can be quite the klutz on occasion. Shinji doesn't need to know about my…stress reliever. In fact, before Grimm found out yesterday, no one knew about my little habit and I plan to continue to keep it from as many people as possible.

His cheery voice came over the ear piece a bit too loud for my liking, "Of course! I'll be right there Ichi!"

I stand by the front doors waiting for him to arrive. About 20 minutes later and I see his car flying around the corner of the parking lot. His tires screech as he hits the breaks to stop in front of the main entrance.

I run out to the car and hop in. "Thanks for the ride Shin. I really appreciate it."

He grins that huge, creepy, 'I'm going to show you all my teeth' grin, "Not a problem. You're my best friend Ichi."

I nod my thanks again as he drives out of the hospital parking lot. I stare out the window in anticipation as we speed pass the buildings and other cars. I'm ready to be home.

When Shin pulls into my driveway I jump out of the car before he even comes to a complete stop, "Thanks so much for the ride Shin. I owe you one!"

Shin grins again and says kiddingly, "You bet your ass you do! Hey Ichi…" I hear him say more seriously and that catches my attention before I have the car door completely closed. Shin is never serious, "I know you think that I believed your story about why you were in the hospital but in all honesty I don't. I'm worried about you Ichi…just don't do whatever it was you did again. I don't want you to be in the hospital…or worse…"

I dropped my eyes. I couldn't look at him while I spoke because I knew that he deserved to know, but I just couldn't tell him.

"Don't worry Shin. I won't be in the hospital anymore." I smile and I make it look as genuine as I possibly can, "So just chill out and everything will be fine. You worry too much!" I sat teasingly before I close the car door but I look back and he is flipping me off. I stick my tongue out at him before I smile again and wave as he backs out of the driveway.

Once I get inside I sigh and head to my bedroom. I lay down on the full-sized bed spread eagle contemplating about how everything has changed so dramatically. I can't stop thinking about how his lips felt on my own. Rough, desperate and needy. I can't wait to feel them again. This all feels too good, like a dream.

As I lay there thinking I begin to get restless, _I have to calm down…I have to wait until he gets here._

The longer I waited though, the more restless I get. I twist and turn on the bed trying to get comfortable but it is just not possible. After several minutes of tossing I finally jump up from the bed and run out the door. I just can't wait any longer. As I am walking down the street I realize it was foolish of me to walk to his house since it is a pretty good distance away from mine but I figure it is a good way to let out all of my pent up energy and excitement. Plus I don't think it would be a good idea to drive the day I get out of the hospital.

My thoughts completely consume me as I walk down the sidewalk of the busy street. I snap out of my daydream and realize that I am already at his door. _I guess my feet knew where they were going without me telling them…_

I knock on the door a couple times and wait for someone to come open it. After a few minutes I try again but when I still get no answer I decide to go in to see if everything is alright.

"Grimm…?" I call out to see if he is anywhere close by. "Grimm where are you…?"

I check the kitchen and the living room to make sure no one is down stairs before I go up stairs to check the other rooms. As I get closer to the top I can hear voices but they are muffled and unclear. I'm not sure why but I decide to stay quiet to make sure that I don't interrupt whatever conversation is being held.

When I get to the hallway I tiptoe towards the voices that are steadily getting louder. At the end of the hallway I turn to the door on the door on the left that is slightly cracked and realize that the voices are coming from there. They are much louder and I can hear fragments of words but nothing more.

But when the voices got silent I open the door up a bit so that I can get a better look inside. I can see Grimm's back and I can tell that Hal is in front of him. They are on the side of the bed farthest from the door so they don't really notice me. I can tell that they are really close but it's not until they turn slightly that I see the locked in a deep kiss.

I feel my heart stop and my breathing cease. I feel all the pain I have ever felt combine into one emotion and break my heart into tiny fragments that can never be repaired. I can feel myself begin to shake but oddly I stay silent. I numbly walk back down the stairs and out the door. Once my feet hit the concrete though, I'm running. I don't look at where I'm going I just trust my instincts to take me home where I will find what I need to finally end all the heartache. Tonight, things change forever.

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**Reviews would be lovely darlings :]**


	9. Ending the Pain

**A/N: **I know this is a bit later than what I had planned...I am so sorry D:. I was not planning on my homework load being so RIDICULOUS. I guess that's what I get for taking an AP, Honors, and college class :/. Anyways...at least it's not like...forever late like the last one right...? That counts for something doesn't it...?

Okay now...I made some changes because one part was anatomically incorrect...I am sorry to all. I should have some some research. Thank you, Olinek, for catching that error. It is very very much appreciated :3

**Disclaimer: **I though I was forgetting something...no I do not own any characters D:. I only own this sad little plot.

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All I can do is run. I can't think or feel, just run.

When I arrive back at my house I waste no time I going to my room and slamming the door. I fall onto my bed and curl up with a pillow and hold it tight against my chest. I wait for the tears to come but none surface. The only thing I feel is a tightening around my heart.

_Why…? Why did he do this…? He was my best friend…_

I squeeze the pillow even tighter as I feel the ache grow into an overwhelming pain, but the tears still refuse to come.

_Was this some kind of sick joke…? He would never do that though…nothing this cruel._ _I can't take this…there is no reason to suffer like this anymore_

I lay there for a few more minutes to come to terms with what I am about to do.

_I have to do this…it's the only way to put an end to everything…_

I force myself up and walk into the bathroom. I'm aware of what I'm about to do, but it feels more like I am in a dream.

All I pull out this time is the razor blade and set it on the counter. I won't need any of the cleaning supplies. I look up from the drawer and into the mirror only to see that my eyes are dead; they look as if no happiness could ever reach them again. With this final look at my reflection my resolve only strengthens.

_What is the point in living if one can feel no happiness?_

With this single thought in mind I numbly walk over to the bath tub and turn on the hot water. I figure the heat will only increase the burning of my wounds and I would like to feel as much pain as I can to know that I can still feel something. When the tub is full I turn off the water and take off my shirt, but before I strip completely I feel like should do something; something to make this all final.

I get an idea and walk back into my bedroom half naked and go to my desk to pull out a piece of paper and a pen. Before I begin writing, the reality of what I was about to do finally sank in and I choked up a bit. Even so, I scribble a few lines making sure I use the right words. Nothing sounds quite right the first few times but on the fifth try I'm able to get it perfect. When I finish writing I fold it in half and write his name on the front. I leave the paper there and go back to the task of undressing myself.

Once I am completely naked I go back to the counter to pick up my razor. I play with it a bit nervously before going back to the tub. I stare at the water a few moments before stepping in. At first my body jerks from the shock of such a drastic temperature change but I get accustomed to it soon enough. After I become submerged in the steaming water I take a deep breath in preparation.

_I have to go through with this…I have no other choice…he made his decision and now…I'm making mine._

With that last sense of finality I keep my arm under water and slide the blade as deep as I can and drag it down and across my right arm making sure to sever the main blood vessels. The pain is intense and I can feel the hot water surging deep into the fresh wound. Despite the severe pain I switch the blade over to my right hand so that I can make a similar gash on my left arm. Again, the pain is immense, but I keep reminding myself that the end result will be worth it.

After a few moments I already feel the dizzy as I look down into the blood stained water. My breathing becomes shallow and my vision is blacking out.

_That didn't take long…I didn't think it would be this fast…_

I lean against the back of the tub and relax, letting the darkness slowly take over. Before I am lost completely, though, I can faintly hear something loud but I can't distinguish where it is coming from. I try to concentrate on it but am unable to focus on it much.

"Ichi!" the loud noise displeases me but I have lost too much blood to anything but flinch. He rushes over to kneel by the tub.

My breathing ceases for a moment when I see that he's here. He is out of breath as if he's been running for hours but he is here none the less. The look on his face is one of horror. His eyes are wild with panic and he is frantically looking around; probably trying to find something to stop the bleeding.

"Why Ichi…? Why couldn't you just wait for me to come here? Why did you do this?" I can barely see him but even so it is obvious in his voice that he is distraught. He knows that he's too late.

"I…couldn't w-wait…and t-this…it's the only w-way…" I whisper, not able to speak any louder.

I can feel him grab my hand. He's shaking.

"Damn it Ichi! If you had only waited a bit longer…" his voice is harsh but not loud, like he is speaking more to himself that me.

I can feel the darkness closing in faster now so I speak while I still can, even if it is only a whisper, "Grimm…t-there is note…i-it's on my desk…make s-sure you read it…"

I can barely feel it but he has my hand and squeezes it, "I will Ichi. And you'll be here to read it with me. You're going to be fine." His voice is shaking and I can tell that he is close to crying if he isn't already.

I try to chuckle but all that comes out is a sigh, "I w-won't be…reading it with…y-you Grimm…"

"Stop it! Don't say shit like that Ichi! You're just going to go back to the hospital…and get all fix up again…we can even get you some help to so you won't do this anymore…" Even I can hear the defeat in his voice. I can tell that he just trying to convince himself that I will still be here after today. It makes me a bit sad that I won't see him but I know it's for the best.

"Grimm…t-this is for…the b-best…now you can…be with Hal w-without…worrying about m-me," I can feel my breath shortening and it is becoming harder to speak. I force myself to continue though, "you didn't have…to l-lie about returning my feelings…I would have understood i-if you didn't…"

"Ichi…I didn't lie to you…I have never lied to you about anything." He says it in a confused voice.

"I s-saw you…kissing…" The darkness is taking more of a hold now and I can feel my consciousness slipping, "G-goodbye Grimmjow…I still…lo…"

And that was all I could say before I felt my last breath leave and the darkness take its hold on me forever.

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**Yes this is a bit short but don't worry there is more in store :3. Reviews would be fantastic my lovely readers XD**


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